By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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