a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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