Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
