can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
