Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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