can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
