You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize