If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
