we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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