We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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