Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
