Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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