life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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