I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
