i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this beer tastes like vomit already
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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