Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
