I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
