: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
