I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
