Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize