I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
