I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
