I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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