I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
