Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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