SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
