saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
