I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
