Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
