You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize