I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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