I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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