I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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