I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
