Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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