Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
