I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she peed on how many people?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
