yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
