he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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