Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
