Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
