The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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