i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
