I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
