i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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