I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Pants are for mortals
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
