Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
