Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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