my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
