it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
