I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my being single is dangerous.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
