Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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