I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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