haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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