I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize