Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
