who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
