i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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