I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
