Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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