Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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