Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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