OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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