That's intense
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
